Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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