Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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