the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
