just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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