And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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