if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
