Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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