yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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