Pants 0. Shit 1.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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