You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
