No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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