i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize