There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
