idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
