Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
