In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
