I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
