Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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