Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think your dad took our porno
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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