Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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