i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
