So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you had me at cake vodka
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize