do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
