There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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