how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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