it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
