i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
