This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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