Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
