Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
