As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think my moral compass just broke
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