my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
