More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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