i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize