I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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