don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
