I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
