The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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