Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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