This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
