So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
please don't ironically join a cult
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