It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
