i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
