I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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