if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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