i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
