didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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