One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
