Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
