Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
