I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
