i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
