if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
