Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
