I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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