No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
