Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
