why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
