He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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